- A good conscience is a continual Christmas where all you get is coal in your stocking.
- A house is not a home unless it contains four walls and a place to relieve oneself of waste. Without these things your sims will never do anything but whine and jump around.
- Admiration is the daughter of ignorance. Diligence is the mother of good luck. Satisfaction is the bastard son of beer and loose women.
- All mankind is divided into three classes: those that like reality programming, those that hate reality programming, and those that are too smug to give reality programming a chance.
- Beauty and free stuff are old companions.
- Beware the hobby that eats. They hunt during the hours of 2-3AM, and can empty a chicken coup faster than a starved coyote.
- Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to trick them into a false sense of complacency.
- Eat to please thyself, but dress to please the ladies.
- Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five, and until we agree on a proper method of disposal our society will continue to struggle with the rising undead.
- Money has never made man happy, nor will it, there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. What man must do is spend lots of money on delightful things, for only then may the fruits of a large coinpurse become fully ripened.
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