Founders look to Google+ to save the Revolutionary War

When members of the Second Continental Congress found out that Mark Zuckerberg was tracking and selling their Facebook account information to the King of England, they knew a change must be made in order to protect Revolutionary War secrets. Although the Second Continental Congress had made sure to place King George III on limited profile, they knew something was up when two hours after creating a secret event for “The Boston Tea Partay”, George III changed his status to “Intolerable Act #1, Boston ‘bout to get teabagged.”

The next day Peyton Randolph, president of the Second Continental Congress, called an emergency meeting to discuss England’s infiltration of their Facebook account. Benjamin Franklin suggested they procure small birds to follow each Congressman around and communicate important messages via tweets. Thomas Jefferson immediately shot down the idea, pointing out that it would be too easy for the birds to be followed by undercover birds from England. There was also the danger of a bird retweeting a top secret message to the entire tweeting community.

Later that day Adams brought in a new copy of Thomas Paine’s Common Sense pamphlet, delegate Jefferson stood up and shouted “I approve of this!,” and instantly the original Google+ feature was created.


After several more weeks of brainstorming, though the Congressmen were elated by their newfound ability to comment on each others' statuses, they decided they still could not solve the security dilemma on their own so they called Larry Page and Eric Schmidt at Google and asked for help. With their own vendetta against Zuckerberg, Page and Schmidt were excited to work with the Founders on using Jefferson's +1 idea to create the first edition of Google+ that would rival Facebook. This new invention allowed members of the Second Continental Congress to create a private circle in which to discuss matters of the War. And to throw off the King, they started hangouts and allowed him to drop in on supposed battle planning. Little did George III know that the real battle planning took place inside the protected circle of the Second Continental Congress.