"As we enjoy great advantages from the inventions of others, we should be glad of the opportunity provided to serve self-interest when Al Gore created the internet; and we should also thank Mark Zuckerburg and Jack Dorsey for creating Facebook and Twitter out of the kindness of their big hearts and not the thinness of their small wallets."
-Ben Franklin, Autobiography (1742)

Friday, April 27, 2012

The Most Talented American: A Story of Jefferson's Tutelage

When we think of the most talented American I think many of us think of Thomas Jefferson. He birthed a University, literally. He wrote the Declaration of Independence. He designed the Virginia Capitol Building. His talents were innumerable. That being said we simply need to look to Jefferson's own words to see who he believes is the most talented American.

'Ya'll know that valuablest talent is never using two words fer one.'
     -Thomas Jefferson in a letter to Jeffery Foxnotworthy 1803

Jeffery took this letter and posted it about his computer as soon as it was delivered by the Pony Express. When we found it we realized that he only posted the redacted version as it just said 'Ya'll know. -T. Jizzle

It was at this point that Jeffery decided to create a dictionary showcasing his talents. This dictionary is still in use today and is utilized to make the English language more efficient and productive to the people of the world. We've included several examples below:

Jeetyet = Did you eat yet?
Yonto = Do you want to?

Person 1: I'm hungry, jeetyet?
Person 2: Naw, yonto?

Juanita = we're going to need
Retina = right now

Juanit another six pack of beer, so ya'll get your butts over here retina.

Courtesy = care to see
Hey Jim, courtesy my new pick up?

Usurp = use syrup

Person one: Hey, would you like to use some jam on your pancakes?
Person 2: Nah, I'll usurp.

Wigeon: which one
I got a bud and a coors wigeon you want?

Cadillacs = caddy lacks
My cadillacs the discipline needed to be a good golfer.

Mayonnaise = man there is
Mayonnaise a lot of people up here at this party.

Often we think that Jefferson's majorest contribution to the UnitedStates is the Declaration of Independence. If we take uneven broader view of his motivating Mr. Foxnotunworthy we can see that he helped create an English language that is more efficient and useful to all people. Thank ya Mr. Jefferson. Thank ya.

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